|This is how I feel when I write for FF.|
My co-workers don't know about my hobby... my classmates only know that I'm a blogger, but I don't tell them about whom. I do mention to people about a Fassbender movie I plan to see starring "my favorite actor". Although I live in the same state as my family, I live about 40 miles West of them so they don't see me regularly, or know a lot about my daily life. They all already know my addiction to Pearl Jam (since 1991/2 thank you) and then lovingly tease me about that. They know I work, I go to school, I sell Avon, I travel, etc., but they do not know the depth of my blogging Internet presence. So I dare not open a new Pandora's box of delightful teasing if I tell them how much time I devote to writing about an actor. Don't get me wrong, they won't make me feel bad or anything, this is just my hobby that is totally separate from my offline life. And I came to a realization that my not sharing with everyone I know about this blog is an indication that I have a healthy balance of my interest in Fassbender, and in my dedication to my offline life (work, university, many other fun activities, family and friends).
To carry over offline the same level of devotion to FF that I have online, would not be sane. It would be unhealthy and ridiculous. I need a break from writing/talking about Fassy. There are so many other great things to enjoy in life and talk about. My studies take up so much of my time that when I'm in study mode, nothing else can penetrate my mind which can throw me off my goal of maintaining my current 4.0 GPA. When I'm not writing for FF, I can happily say that I have an internal switch that I can turn off, albeit temporarily, and focus on matters in my real life. And when I have the time, I flip the switch back on, and I give 100% to Fassinating Fassbender. So that is why I now realize that I'm a closet Fassinator. Writing for this blog is pure fun and a source of escapism from an otherwise chaotic life. It's cathartic to come here and update it and read comments from fellow fans that enjoy the latest postings.
I know I will be writing for FF for many, many years to come, and I hope this blog evolves into something larger or become a part of something that will find a larger audience. But in the meanwhile, I like being a closet Fassinator because it's my personal business to nurture and protect, and allows me to recharge during downtime so that I can give it my all when I'm ready to. Life's too short to focus on one thing, we're all more complete and happy pursuing multiple activities that cultivate our minds.
Are you a closet Fassinator?